“But Moses said to God,
“Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh
and lead the children of Israel out of Egypt?”
He answered, “I will be with you…”“At that time Jesus exclaimed:
“I give praise to you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth,
for although you have hidden these things
from the wise and the learned
you have revealed them to the childlike.”(emphases added)
Many times in my life, I have felt like I was the one to do a job right.
My husband calls this my “justice” instinct… if there’s something awry, someone’s gotta fix it, and I don’t like waiting for people to fix things that I feel I could easily take care of. At many points in my life, people have told me I’m a good leader, and I have internalized that. I feel like God has called me to some role of leadership. But, at the same time, there have been circumstances that shatter these expectations, and my identity surrounding my capability and call to lead has been shaken.
Lately, I’m realizing there has been a slow work of God trying to refine this instinct to hire and volunteer myself as a leader, and these verses exemplify the heart God wants for His leaders here on earth: abandoned, dependent, humble, childlike.
The extent to which we empty ourselves of relying upon our own power, paired with the confidence we have in God’s, is also the extent to which God can powerfully act through us.
Moses was the perfect choice for a leader, in part, because he knew the enormity of the task and his complete ineptitude to carry it out.
And so, like children, the truly wise know to the depths of their soul that God is the sole animator, ruler, guide, and goal of their life. And that is the source of their joy, comfort, strength, perseverance.
Sometimes, maybe even oftentimes, God lets us work and do life while we think it is ourselves who are holding everything together. He lets this happen, sometimes, until everything falls apart, and we can search through the rubble to rediscover our foundation. And if we are wise, we ask Him to rebuild. We ask for His Will to be done.
I’m sure God has so much more planned for us if we would only give up the reigns. It’s not that He doesn’t think we can do more, there sometimes simply isn’t enough space for Him to work as freely as He wants to in our lives.
I feel this question keenly in my own life: What would God do through me if I would trust more fully in His power and not my own? How would He use me? What leader could I become?
Jesus, our eternal Leader and Friend, we surrender more of our hearts to Yours.
Father, teach us to trust you, even if it hurts.
Holy Spirit, teach us the wisdom of trusting children.
Amen.
Frassati Reflections 