Month: August 2019

An Infinite Love

edith stein

I will espouse you to me forever:
I will espouse you in right and in justice,
in love and in mercy;
I will espouse you in fidelity,
and you shall know the LORD

These words were read at Mass today in celebration of a very special saint of our times, St. Teresa Benedicta of the Cross (Edith Stein). A saint very close to my heart, St. Teresa Benedicta is one of the main reasons for my conversion back to my faith.

Edith was raised in a Jewish family in the early 1900s in Germany, eventually converting through an encounter with Christ through philosophy and the lives of the saints. A prominent philosopher, teacher, and speaker, Edith earnestly searched for the answers to who we are as human beings, what that means regarding our call to relationship with God. She died in Auschwitz during World War II, serving others whole-heartedly until her final moments.

The words from Scripture today are from the book of Hosea, words which God spoke to Israel. He desired an all-consuming and faithful relationship with His People. Even in their unfaithfulness, He kept pursuing them with this love.

The reason the Scripture reading was picked for St. Teresa Benedicta’s feast is that she lived her vocation as a human person, in particular, as a woman, to the fullest. She knew that she was created by Love and for Love. She had been captivated by the love of God, and in that, felt she could not contain that message of His love. Her life is a witness of what it truly means to allow God to love us.

When I read the words of the Scripture reading today, in all honesty, my heart is uneasy. I desire to be loved with such unconditional, all-consuming, and infinite love. But how often do I settle for less? In my own heart, I find that when I resist these words from God, it is because I doubt He is enough.

While we each have these desires for such love, it is so much easier to settle. We fill our hearts with finite things which give temporary satisfaction, in order to fill that inner void. But these temporal goods, while gifts from God, are not enough. They are finite. They are gifts which ultimately are meant to point us to Him. 

Today, as we pray through these words of Scripture, place yourself in a position of receptivity. Hear them as Jesus speaking them directly to you. Let us ask ourselves, “What are those things which I grasp onto to try and fill that spot in my heart meant only for God?”

Give these desires to Him, and allow Him to fill them. Give him the doubt in your heart, and allow Him to surprise you!

As we celebrate today’s feast, let us ask for St. Teresa Benedicta of the Cross to intercede for us. She received the love of Christ the Bridegroom, trusting that her heart’s desires were given to Her by God for a reason. She was one who was not afraid to allow Herself to be loved.

St. Teresa Benedicta of the Cross, intercede for us and help us to surrender wholeheartedly to the one who loves us. Give us the interior freedom to receive His all-consuming love without fear!

For more information on St. Teresa Benedicta of the Cross’s life, go to http://www.vatican.va/news_services/liturgy/saints/ns_lit_doc_19981011_edith_stein_en.html

Recommended reading on St. Teresa Benedicta of the Cross:

Life in a Jewish Family: https://www.amazon.com/Life-Jewish-Family-Autobiography-Collected/dp/0935216049

Essays on Woman: https://www.amazon.com/Essays-Woman-Collected-English-German/dp/0935216596

In the Folds of His Mercy

O inconceivable and unfathomable Mercy of God,
Who can worthily adore you and sing your praises?
O greatest attribute of God Almighty,
You are the sweet hope of sinners.
—The Diary of St. Faustina

One of the largest thorns in the crown of Jesus is the distrust of souls, a lack of trust first sown when Adam and Eve were tempted to doubt God’s steadfast love for them. Unable to see or understand the plans of their father, they grasped at a way to protect themselves, hardening their hearts. This original lack of faith was passed on through salvation history, as we see in today’s readings. In the first reading, the Israelites panic when they cannot see any water in the desert and seem to forget how God had just led them out of slavery. Even Moses comes to a breaking point as their leader. In the Gospel, Peter recognizes Jesus as the Son of God, the living water, but even he resists God’s plan when he cannot understand why Jesus will have to suffer.

Still, this “truly necessary sin of Adam” sparked the greatest story ever told: the story of redemption and merciful love. God did not give up on the grumbling Israelites, who were stuck in their own circle of misery, or on Peter, who later abandoned Christ during the passion and was left in bitter tears. As Robert Stackpole, director of the John Paul II Institute of Divine Mercy, writes, “Saint Thomas Aquinas defined mercy in general as ‘the compassion in our hearts for another person’s misery, a compassion which drives us to do what we can to help him’ (ST II-II.30.1). Divine Mercy, therefore, is the form that God’s eternal love takes when He reaches out to us in the midst of our need and our brokenness. Whatever the nature of our need or our misery might be—sin, guilt, suffering, or death—He is always ready to pour out His merciful, compassionate love for us, to help in time of need.”

St. Dominic, the founder of the Order of Preachers, and whose feast we celebrate today, poured out his life to show people the truth of the love of God as our merciful father. He had a great love for souls, for the suffering Christ, for the doctrines of the Church, for Mary, and especially for the Mass and the Blessed Sacrament, and relied on Divine Providence, even when he could not see or understand what God’s plans were. He was known to be moved to tears of contrition and love in the presence of the Eucharist, overwhelmed by this ultimate sign of God’s mercy. He was filled with sorrow for his own sin and an intense longing for others to come home to the love of God, which came through in his joyful, indefatigable preaching and in the love and kindness with which he cared for all he encountered. Instead of hardening his heart, he allowed it to be broken and shared it willingly.

Blessed Jordan of Saxony, O.P., puts it best: “Whilst he thus laboured to make his own soul pleasing to God, the fire of divine love was daily more and more enkindled in his breast, and he was consumed with an ardent zeal for the salvation of infidels and sinners. To move the divine mercy to regard them with pity, he spent often whole nights in the church at prayer, watering the steps of the altar with abundance of tears, in which he was heard to sigh and groan before the Father of mercy, in the earnestness and deep affliction of his heart; never ceasing to beg with the greatest ardor, the grace to gain some of those unhappy souls to Christ.”

Is it any wonder that St. Dominic had a special, ardent love for Mary, considering that her trust in God’s love is meant to counter the distrust of Eve, and that she also longs to lead us to Jesus, her Son, the new Adam? As the Nashville Dominicans note, “His life, his work, his Order were placed under her protection, and he invoked her in every difficulty and danger… The Blessed Mother filled him with heavenly favors, watched over him with motherly care, and gave him the habit of his Order. A tradition cherished in his Order… ascribes to him the first teaching of devotion to the recitation of the Rosary. His disciples were called ‘Friars of Mary,’ and have carried her Rosary and scapular to the uttermost parts of the earth.”

St. Dominic wasn’t just known for his tears, for his lifetime of studying, and for his preaching: he was also known for his joy. Just as Mary burst into song with her Magnificat, St. Dominic sang, even in the midst of darkness. Since he knew God as his merciful, loving father, how could his heart not overflow? Let us then follow their example, as the psalmist says today, and “sing joyfully to the Lord.” Light of the Church, teacher of Truth, rose of patience, ivory of chastity. You freely poured forth the waters of wisdom. Preacher of grace, unite us with the blessed. St. Dominic, pray for us! Amen.

Reading & Listening Suggestions
Fr. Guy Bedouelle, O.P., In the Image of St. Dominic
Kentucky Thomism podcast, The Tears of Dominic
St. Dominic novena
St. John Paul II, Dives in Misericordia
Robert Stackpole, What Does Divine Mercy Actually Mean?

Down the Mountain

Have you ever experienced a moment in time when you knew you were in the presence of God?  At such a moment, life completely stops, all your cares and worries vanish, and the world suddenly somehow makes sense.  Most of all, you are overwhelmed by a certainty and trust that everything is “okay.”  This must have been what the disciples felt when they witnessed the transfiguration of the Lord.  They were among the divine, which was so incredible for mere mortal fishermen, that it was simply too much for their minds to comprehend.

“Master, it is good that we are here;
let us make three tents,
one for you, one for Moses, and one for Elijah.”
But he did not know what he was saying.” (Luke 9:28–36)

Peter, along with James and John, was given a special glimpse of a meeting much bigger than himself, so he attempts to deal with it in a concrete way, honoring these glorified beings with the only skill he can contribute.  It is essential in a life of faith to acknowledge these moments and give thanks for them, holding them close in our hearts to remember for the future.  While these times are life-changing, they cannot last forever, and we all must return to reality.  On one of my pilgrimages, as we were preparing to resume our daily lives, our priest reflected on the transfiguration, asking us to imagine what it must have been like walking down the mountain, how disorienting for the disciples.  No matter how miraculous the experience, the reentry into reality will always be difficult.  We will once again be confronted by doubt and fear, especially the doubt as to whether or not what we just experienced was actually real.

Although the walk down the mountain will always be a trial, I take heart that the harder the walk is, the more I can have faith that what I just went through really did happen.  The account of the transfiguration gives us hope as believers and followers of Jesus Christ.  After the transfiguration, only He remained with His disciples.  This holds true for us as disciples today.  Jesus Christ remains with us, ready to give us courage and to support us as we walk down the mountain and continue our everyday journeys in our daily lives.

Eat and Be Satisfied

In today’s readings, we see two different stories of God providing for His people. In the book of Numbers, the Israelites are given manna in the desert, sustenance for their journey to the promised land. But they grouse and complain about the blandness of this heavenly food. They remember the fish that they ate “without cost” in Egypt, forgetting that it came with a very dear cost indeed—the cost of their freedom. They are so quick to forget what God has done for them, the miracles He wrought to deliver them from slavery in Egypt.

In contrast, the Gospel reading presents the story of Jesus’s multiplication of the loaves and fishes. Here, Jesus provides for His followers with simple yet nourishing food, and they accept it gratefully. Where the Israelites in the desert turned their nose up at the food God offered them, these crowds “ate and were satisfied.”

The juxtaposition of these two stories reminds us how important it is to be receptive to God’s providence in our lives. He is always seeking to nourish our souls and provide for our every need, but we often miss out on it because it comes in a way we don’t expect. If we hold too tightly to our own ideas of what we ought to have, we might overlook the gifts that are right before us. Truly, God showers us with gifts each and every day of our lives, even if they might come amidst a difficult journey. What a shame it would be to allow our pride to hold us back from living in gratitude and wonder.

People can always find reason to complain. We serve others not to receive their praise and thanks but because it is the right thing to do. Just as God continued to feed His people with manna even despite their ingratitude, so are we called to imitate His kindness and generosity.

Today is the feast of the dedication of Santa Maria Maggiore, one of the four major basilicas of Rome, which houses the relic of Christ’s manger. (Several years ago, I got the chance to attend midnight Mass there at Christmas, which was especially beautiful!) Mary, as the Theotokos, or “God-bearer,” was in a sense the original manger, the first home for Jesus. But a manger is not a typical cradle; it is a feeding trough for animals. When Mary laid her divine Child in the manger, it prefigured His role as food for the world. He offers His very Self to nourish us, and she lays down her own life to become the means through which we can receive Him. God’s providence for us truly knows no bounds. As He continues to feed His people, may we receive Him gratefully, eat, and be satisfied.

Mighty Deeds Will Happen

Jesus grew up in Nazareth. Imagine him there as a little boy playing outside, saying hello to his neighbors, helping with chores around the house, going to the synagogue to pray in community. As an obedient young man, imagine Jesus by Joseph’s side helping him do woodwork. At this time, in his early years, Jesus hadn’t made his divinity known. He was experiencing a fully human life and thus having fully human interactions with people.

After Jesus was done teaching in Capernaum he went back to Nazareth, his hometown. In Nazareth, Jesus began to teach at the Synagogue and do good works. The people who saw Jesus started to question him. The Gospel tells us that the people were astonished at Jesus, but not in admiration; they were in disbelief and denial. Most likely these were people Jesus grew up with, neighbors he said hello to, the fellow children he played with, his classmates. Now they became people who doubted the good works that Jesus was doing. “Where did this man get such wisdom and mighty deeds? Is he not the carpenter’s son?”

How many times have your actions been questioned? How many times have people doubted in what you could do? Perhaps they thought you didn’t deserve to be in a position of leadership or weren’t worthy enough to be promoted at work. One of the fears in today’s society is being stationary in one place for too long and not being able to grow in other areas. For example, in the design world, it may look negatively if you’ve only done work in commercial real estate and then want to move into residential design. In the fashion world, it may look negatively if you’ve only been in children’s wear and then want to move into high-end fashion. Or in the marketing world, it may look negatively if all your ad campaign work is on one brand and then you change brands. In all these scenarios when change happens people question your ability to be able to do the new work because they only knew you as you were in your previous position. Now can you imagine why the Nazarene people questioned Jesus’ doings? They saw big change happening. But, they only knew him as “the carpenter’s son” before the start of his ministry, before the miracles that came through his full divinity were known. They heard him preach and saw his miracles but chose not to believe. Remember this, you are never stationary in life and God calls you to different places at different times, always for the greater good of His glory and within that you will always grow.

You and I know Jesus better than those who had disbelief in Nazareth. He wasn’t just the carpenter’s son. We know that Jesus is fully human and fully divine. He is Son of Man and he is Son of the Father. We know the mighty deeds that he has done and we believe in future mighty deeds to come through God’s grace. I know and believe all of this and yet sometimes my own humanity makes me doubt the good things that will be to come. When work is stressful, when I fail an exam in school, when my family and I are at odds, I forget about God’s graces. In that moment I am like the people in Jesus’ hometown, doubting him. My friends, through the Frassati fellowship, have reminded me to focus on Jesus’ love. In moments of little faith I need to offer all of it up to God. He will do great things for me.

Continuing in the Gospel, after being rejected Jesus says that “a prophet is not without honor except in his native place and in his own house.” People may expect us to be one particular thing, but our truth lies in God’s calling for where He wants us to be. We are not defined by our social status nor our jobs. We are sons and daughters of God, brothers and sisters in Christ. God will always do great things and we are destined, through His will, for greatness.

At this moment, I am with missionaries from the Frassati fellowship in Peru. We are all far from our own houses. Prophets in our own distinct ways. We are in community and in prayer with each other and the people of Laderas, the small community in Peru in which we are on mission bringing the Gospel and building homes for the poor and most in need. Through the power of the Holy Spirit, we will do God’s will and mighty deeds will happen here.

Saint Eusebius of Vercelli, who believed in Jesus’ full divinity, on your feast day today, pray for us.

Blessed Pier Giorgio Frassati, for your love of community that has brought this ministry of young adults together in Peru, pray for us.

Sweet Surrender

Time and time again, God brings me back to a place of joyful and peaceful surrender. Not only am I a planner, but I sometimes desire to know exactly what’s going to happen in the future out of self-protection and fear. When the way ahead is uncertain, how I would love to have a cloud from the Lord like the Israelites in today’s first reading so I would know when, where, and how to move. Yet in the questioning and waiting, God gently whispers to my heart, “Just wait and see. Trust, my daughter.”

There are a lot of unknowns in my life right now, and I’m learning again and again to be okay with that. If God wanted me to know what He had in store for me, He would reveal that to my heart right now. But He hasn’t, and that is not for nothing, because God wastes nothing. He is teaching me how to trust in His goodness moment to moment, following in the footsteps of Our Lady’s mighty FIAT.

When we trust Him, we don’t need to have all the answers—because He does.

Sometimes, we’re just swimming in the currents of the river, getting tossed about by the waves and trying to stay focused on keeping our head above water. But God, in His infinite goodness for our life journeys, can always see the whole river. He knows what lies ahead and what lies behind. He knows the purpose, and He knows where He is leading us. And all at once, He is swimming with us through it all, leading us to the next right thing, leading us to a deeper communion with Him.

So I rise and greet the gift of a new day from God, with a courageous YES in my heart to whatever He has for me in the here and now, and with an even bigger YES to the things that lie ahead that are yet to be unveiled. What a journey it is.

Thank You, God, for the gift of unknowns. My unknowns are known to You, and I thank You for that. My unknowns are intimately held safe and sacred in Your hands. I praise You through it all.